Wishing My Gift Away

20217378_1752648648086087_582475349_nPeople often tell me how they wished they had my gift.  They wish they could sense and communicate with Spirit.  Usually it’s because they want fame, money or their own TV show.  Hey, to each their own.  However, I never wanted any of that.  I didn’t even want my gift for most of my life.

It is very difficult growing up seeing people others don’t.  Imagine a small child trying to tell you that they hear someone you don’t hear.  They insist that they see a person that you can’t see.  You most likely would think they were imagining things.  If they were persistent, you’d think that child was a little off his rocker.  Now, imagine being that child and everyone ignoring you and making you feel crazy.  Imagine having these gifts as a teenager.  Throw in raging hormones, high school drama and the fear of someone finding out about your visions and the voices in your head.  Not so fun, huh?

When I went to college, it was a struggle being around so many people at one time, all the time.  I struggled for two years.  Finally, one night, I prayed for the first time.  I asked that God help me.  I begged God to let me know that there was a purpose for my supernatural experiences or to at least take them away.  Just then I felt this warm wave of peace wash over me. Then I could feel four people, one by one, sit along the edge of the bed I was laying on but, I saw no one there.  I smiled and for the first time in a long time, I felt safe.  Weird, right?  But, I had the best night’s sleep that night and I woke up believing in God.  I had a new outlook on life.

Not long after college, I married and started having children.  Oddly enough with my children, my gifts grew.  Soon a TV show started about a medium and her stories were so similar to mine that I was shocked.  I started thinking that I might be a medium too.  So, I read on it and prayed on it.  Again, I began to pray to God asking Him to take this all away, “Dear God, if this is a gift, I cannot handle it.  I’m not strong enough.  I’m not worthy.  Please take it away.”  It was a prayer I repeated many times.  As I shared with you before, it was this prayer that started a conversation with a Spirit that made me realize that this curse was not a curse but my purpose.  From that point on, I feel blessed and honored to have my abilities and to share them with you.  I hope to help as many people I am able to and share my love for God with them.  It’s just one more reason why I am sharing my journey among spirits.

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