Discovering my gift took time, and it took others telling me that I had a gift before I even considered the possibility. It wasn’t until I reconnected with my grandmother in my twenties, that I was introduced to the idea of my experiences being a gift instead of a curse. Then, it was my family and friends that helped me embrace it.
My grandmother moved in with mother when I was in college. I was able to build a relationship with her during my visits home. During one of our first conversations she told me “You have the Gift.” Her comment was out of the blue and took me by surprise, especially since I didn’t know her that well. However, after years of visiting with my grandmother, she helped me understand a few things about what she called “my gift”. My grandmother also told me about psychics and mediums but, I still hadn’t accepted that I had abilities.
After my grandmother passed away a few years later, I didn’t think much about my “gift” and I focused on my young family. However, that didn’t stop my experiences. To feel “normal” I started watching paranormal television shows. Then a TV reality show about a Medium opened up my mind again. Her stories and experiences were so similar to mine, it was hard to ignore but, I did my best.
Around the same time, I met another mom who was interested in the paranormal. I felt comfortable enough to tell her about a few of my spiritual experiences. My new friend told me that she was in a paranormal research group. She told me that I have way more experiences than the average person. I was surprised but, it did have me thinking again “Do I have gifts?”. Soon after that, my new friend introduced me to someone as “Nicole, the Sensitive I told you about.” AHHHH!!! I didn’t know how to respond but, I’m sure my face said it all.
After my new friend introduced me as a Sensitive, I began my research. I searched the internet and read books. Then, one day, my mother called and said “Nicole, I think you might be a psychic.” She had been watching the Medium TV show also and reading tons of books. My mom recognized some of my childhood stories in some of the books she read. Mom helped me learn to meditate. I remember doing a meditation to meet my Spirit Guides. It was so real that it scared me and I stopped it all and put my research on the shelf. However, my plans didn’t matter because my experiences continued.
My spiritual experiences didn’t just continue, they increased. So, I prayed a lot. I eventually told God “If this is a gift, I don’t want it. I can’t handle it. I’m not worthy. Please take it away.” But, it didn’t go away. If anything, my experiences became stronger, more frequent. So, I prayed and prayed and prayed. Finally, after much prayer and many tears, I prayed to God saying “God I do not want this gift but, if it is your intention for me to have it, and you think I am worthy, I accept it.” I remember being shocked to hear “Do you want this gift?” I replied, “Only if it’s God’s intention.” I heard, “What would you do with this gift?” I replied, “Help others and share God with them.” From that point, my fear lessened and I felt I found my path.