Wishing My Gift Away

20217378_1752648648086087_582475349_nPeople often tell me how they wished they had my gift.  They wish they could sense and communicate with Spirit.  Usually it’s because they want fame, money or their own TV show.  Hey, to each their own.  However, I never wanted any of that.  I didn’t even want my gift for most of my life.

It is very difficult growing up seeing people others don’t.  Imagine a small child trying to tell you that they hear someone you don’t hear.  They insist that they see a person that you can’t see.  You most likely would think they were imagining things.  If they were persistent, you’d think that child was a little off his rocker.  Now, imagine being that child and everyone ignoring you and making you feel crazy.  Imagine having these gifts as a teenager.  Throw in raging hormones, high school drama and the fear of someone finding out about your visions and the voices in your head.  Not so fun, huh?

When I went to college, it was a struggle being around so many people at one time, all the time.  I struggled for two years.  Finally, one night, I prayed for the first time.  I asked that God help me.  I begged God to let me know that there was a purpose for my supernatural experiences or to at least take them away.  Just then I felt this warm wave of peace wash over me. Then I could feel four people, one by one, sit along the edge of the bed I was laying on but, I saw no one there.  I smiled and for the first time in a long time, I felt safe.  Weird, right?  But, I had the best night’s sleep that night and I woke up believing in God.  I had a new outlook on life.

Not long after college, I married and started having children.  Oddly enough with my children, my gifts grew.  Soon a TV show started about a medium and her stories were so similar to mine that I was shocked.  I started thinking that I might be a medium too.  So, I read on it and prayed on it.  Again, I began to pray to God asking Him to take this all away, “Dear God, if this is a gift, I cannot handle it.  I’m not strong enough.  I’m not worthy.  Please take it away.”  It was a prayer I repeated many times.  As I shared with you before, it was this prayer that started a conversation with a Spirit that made me realize that this curse was not a curse but my purpose.  From that point on, I feel blessed and honored to have my abilities and to share them with you.  I hope to help as many people I am able to and share my love for God with them.  It’s just one more reason why I am sharing my journey among spirits.

Developing My Spiritual Gifts

20269997_1752634384754180_628801092_nWhen I finally accepted my spiritual gifts, I was in a rush to learn fast and eager to help people.  Unfortunately, that is not how it works but, that didn’t stop me from trying.  The truth is, I’m still developing my gift.  I’m always growing and learning and that’s what this blog is all about.

There is not much free information out there about learning how to understand your spiritual gifts.  If you do find something, it is usually a class, a system or a program that costs more than I’d like to spend.  I did pay for a couple of webinars in the beginning and I don’t regret it, because I learned some basic information that way.  However, paying to learn how to develop my God-given gift just never felt right to me.

In addition to the few webinars I “attended”, I also met with a close friend quite often to just talk about my experiences and what I sensed.  She helped me realize I needed to stop overthinking and I needed to listen to the voices in my head.  It sounds crazy but it worked.

I sensed that I should meet with people.  So, that’s what I did.  First I sat with people within my close circle of friends and family.  Then those friends and family told their friends and family about me.  Then people I didn’t know wanted to sit with me.  I was being called a “medium” and/or a “psychic”.  Although I didn’t feel comfortable with those labels, I didn’t protest them because based on the definitions it was the best way to describe me.  My meetings with people began to be called “readings”.  Again, although calling those meetings “readings” felt weird, I didn’t correct people.

I learned a lot from each meeting I had.  Not only did I learn to distinguish between my own thoughts and what Spirit was telling me but I learned to stop overanalyzing the information I was receiving.  Those messages aren’t for me.  They are for the person I am sharing them with.  So, they don’t have to mean anything to me but, they are supposed to mean something to them.

After a while I had the feeling that I needed to do more than just “readings” to help people.  So, I had planned to go to the priest at the church my family attended, not only to tell him about my gifts but for spiritual guidance.  When I met with the priest, it did not go as I expected because it ended with my family no longer attending the church.  It may have been a negative experience but, I now know that it was a necessary part of my journey.

Ironically, my talk with the priest helped me meet another medium.  Strange right?  Honestly, because of that experience, I found someone else like me.  She opened my eyes to so much and she helped me understand why some things I learned on my own didn’t feel right to me.   She told me to listen to Spirit but, that I was right to question them.  She said I should always question what comes through.  So, I do just that, I listen with caution.

If there was any advice I would give to someone wanting to understand or develop their gifts it would be this…

  1. PRAY!!!  I believe that spiritual gifts are just that, a GIFT from God.  So, pray to Him and ask Him for guidance.
  2. Follow your gut and listen to the little voice in your head but, with caution.  As crazy as that may sound, it worked for me.
  3. This is YOUR journey, no one else’s.  It won’t be like anyone else’s and it’s not supposed to be.
  4. You are never done learning.

I’ll be praying for all of you to find peace in your gifts.  Best of luck on your journey!

Are Spiritual Gifts Hereditary?

Hereditary

My grandmother holding my mother.

I absolutely believe that spiritual gifts can be hereditary.  My grandmother was the first person to tell me that I have a gift and that she and others in our family did too.

I didn’t grow up with my grandmother in my life but, we reunited in my early twenties.  During one of our first conversations she shocked me when she told me that I have “the gift”.  At first, I thought the same thing that most people thought of me when I shared my spiritual experiences, “She’s crazy!”.  However, after my grandmother told me about things that had happened to her and other relatives, I started to believe her because they were so similar to my own experiences.  I was so glad to hear that others, especially family members, knew what it was like to see things other people didn’t. I finally had someone to relate to.

Over the next few years, my grandmother gave me tips on how to spiritually protect myself and how to handle what was happening to me.  Although I was still having trouble completely believing that I had a gift, I enjoyed the relationship we were developing.  My grandmother was a fan of a couple of popular TV mediums and I began to watch their shows with her.  Those shows really opened my eyes.

Unfortunately, my time with my grandmother was cut short just a few years after we reconnected.  After her passing I dropped any thought of me having a gift and I began to focus on the young family my husband and I were growing.  But, it wasn’t long before my interest was peaked again because my children started to tell me about seeing people that others couldn’t.

I believe that children are able to sense more spiritual signs than adults.  This is how I think of it, young children are innocent and haven’t been taught that “it’s just their imagination” quite yet.  They are more open to the world and to it’s possibilities.  So, I’m not saying that my children have gifts, that’s yet to be known.  I’m not negating their experiences but I’m also not encouraging them.  Only time will tell.  In addition, I do not think that gifts have to be hereditary in order for someone to have them.  God works in mysterious ways and I believe anything is possible.  However, remember, I’m still learning as I go along my journey among spirits.

How I Discovered My Gift

20217181_1752615018089450_1396390960_nDiscovering my gift took time, and it took others telling me that I had a gift before I even considered the possibility. It wasn’t until I reconnected with my grandmother in my twenties, that I was introduced to the idea of my experiences being a gift instead of a curse.  Then, it was my family and friends that helped me embrace it.

My grandmother moved in with mother when I was in college.  I was able to build a relationship with her during my visits home. During one of our first conversations she told me “You have the Gift.”  Her comment was out of the blue and took me by surprise, especially since I didn’t know her that well.  However, after years of visiting with my grandmother, she helped me understand a few things about what she called “my gift”.  My grandmother also told me about psychics and mediums but, I still hadn’t accepted that I had abilities.

After my grandmother passed away a few years later, I didn’t think much about my “gift” and I focused on my young family.  However, that didn’t stop my experiences. To feel “normal” I started watching paranormal television shows.  Then a TV reality show about a Medium opened up my mind again.  Her stories and experiences were so similar to mine, it was hard to ignore but, I did my best.

Around the same time, I met another mom who was interested in the paranormal.  I felt comfortable enough to tell her about a few of my spiritual experiences.  My new friend told me that she was in a paranormal research group.  She told me that I have way more experiences than the average person.  I was surprised but, it did have me thinking again “Do I have gifts?”.  Soon after that, my new friend introduced me to someone as “Nicole, the Sensitive I told you about.”  AHHHH!!!  I didn’t know how to respond but, I’m sure my face said it all.

After my new friend introduced me as a Sensitive, I began my research.  I searched the internet and read books.  Then, one day, my mother called and said “Nicole, I think you might be a psychic.”  She had been watching the Medium TV show also and reading tons of books.  My mom recognized some of my childhood stories in some of the books she read.  Mom helped me learn to meditate.  I remember doing a meditation to meet my Spirit Guides.  It was so real that it scared me and I stopped it all and put my research on the shelf.  However, my plans didn’t matter because my experiences continued.

My spiritual experiences didn’t just continue, they increased.  So, I prayed a lot.  I eventually told God “If this is a gift, I don’t want it.  I can’t handle it.  I’m not worthy.  Please take it away.”  But, it didn’t go away.  If anything, my experiences became stronger, more frequent.  So, I prayed and prayed and prayed.  Finally, after much prayer and many tears, I prayed to God saying “God I do not want this gift but, if it is your intention for me to have it, and you think I am worthy, I accept it.”  I remember being shocked to hear “Do you want this gift?”  I replied, “Only if it’s God’s intention.”  I heard, “What would you do with this gift?” I replied, “Help others and share God with them.”  From that point, my fear lessened and I felt I found my path.

What is a Spiritual Sensitive?

ssI am a Spiritual Sensitive.  What is a Spiritual Sensitive, you ask? Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like, a person who is sensitive (able to easily pick up on signals) to spiritual activity (things having to do with spirit).

There are many names for people with spiritual gifts.  There are plenty of places to find those online so…I won’t go into that here.  However, people often like to call me a Psychic or a Medium.  Based on the definitions, they would be right.  Although, Mediums and Psychics are great, those names just never felt right for me.  It’s actually been a big struggle for me since I first realized my gifts.  So, I did what I have learned to do along my journey with Spirit, I prayed.  I asked for guidance in how to describe my gifts, many times.  I was relieved when I finally heard “Spiritual Sensitive”.  Sure, it means the same thing but, for some reason it just feels more comfortable, like a fluffy, warm robe.  Like most things when it comes to Spirit, it’s hard to explain.

What type of signals do I pick on, you ask?  Well, I’m blessed with the ability to see, hear, feel, pick up on emotions and gain knowledge from Spirit.  Oh, and sometimes smell, if that’s how they want to communicate.   I’ve recently began what most people call “automatic writing”.  It freaks me out but, it’s effective.  Like everything else along my journey, I will learn to embrace it.