Wishing My Gift Away

20217378_1752648648086087_582475349_nPeople often tell me how they wished they had my gift.  They wish they could sense and communicate with Spirit.  Usually it’s because they want fame, money or their own TV show.  Hey, to each their own.  However, I never wanted any of that.  I didn’t even want my gift for most of my life.

It is very difficult growing up seeing people others don’t.  Imagine a small child trying to tell you that they hear someone you don’t hear.  They insist that they see a person that you can’t see.  You most likely would think they were imagining things.  If they were persistent, you’d think that child was a little off his rocker.  Now, imagine being that child and everyone ignoring you and making you feel crazy.  Imagine having these gifts as a teenager.  Throw in raging hormones, high school drama and the fear of someone finding out about your visions and the voices in your head.  Not so fun, huh?

When I went to college, it was a struggle being around so many people at one time, all the time.  I struggled for two years.  Finally, one night, I prayed for the first time.  I asked that God help me.  I begged God to let me know that there was a purpose for my supernatural experiences or to at least take them away.  Just then I felt this warm wave of peace wash over me. Then I could feel four people, one by one, sit along the edge of the bed I was laying on but, I saw no one there.  I smiled and for the first time in a long time, I felt safe.  Weird, right?  But, I had the best night’s sleep that night and I woke up believing in God.  I had a new outlook on life.

Not long after college, I married and started having children.  Oddly enough with my children, my gifts grew.  Soon a TV show started about a medium and her stories were so similar to mine that I was shocked.  I started thinking that I might be a medium too.  So, I read on it and prayed on it.  Again, I began to pray to God asking Him to take this all away, “Dear God, if this is a gift, I cannot handle it.  I’m not strong enough.  I’m not worthy.  Please take it away.”  It was a prayer I repeated many times.  As I shared with you before, it was this prayer that started a conversation with a Spirit that made me realize that this curse was not a curse but my purpose.  From that point on, I feel blessed and honored to have my abilities and to share them with you.  I hope to help as many people I am able to and share my love for God with them.  It’s just one more reason why I am sharing my journey among spirits.

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Developing My Spiritual Gifts

20269997_1752634384754180_628801092_nWhen I finally accepted my spiritual gifts, I was in a rush to learn fast and eager to help people.  Unfortunately, that is not how it works but, that didn’t stop me from trying.  The truth is, I’m still developing my gift.  I’m always growing and learning and that’s what this blog is all about.

There is not much free information out there about learning how to understand your spiritual gifts.  If you do find something, it is usually a class, a system or a program that costs more than I’d like to spend.  I did pay for a couple of webinars in the beginning and I don’t regret it, because I learned some basic information that way.  However, paying to learn how to develop my God-given gift just never felt right to me.

In addition to the few webinars I “attended”, I also met with a close friend quite often to just talk about my experiences and what I sensed.  She helped me realize I needed to stop overthinking and I needed to listen to the voices in my head.  It sounds crazy but it worked.

I sensed that I should meet with people.  So, that’s what I did.  First I sat with people within my close circle of friends and family.  Then those friends and family told their friends and family about me.  Then people I didn’t know wanted to sit with me.  I was being called a “medium” and/or a “psychic”.  Although I didn’t feel comfortable with those labels, I didn’t protest them because based on the definitions it was the best way to describe me.  My meetings with people began to be called “readings”.  Again, although calling those meetings “readings” felt weird, I didn’t correct people.

I learned a lot from each meeting I had.  Not only did I learn to distinguish between my own thoughts and what Spirit was telling me but I learned to stop overanalyzing the information I was receiving.  Those messages aren’t for me.  They are for the person I am sharing them with.  So, they don’t have to mean anything to me but, they are supposed to mean something to them.

After a while I had the feeling that I needed to do more than just “readings” to help people.  So, I had planned to go to the priest at the church my family attended, not only to tell him about my gifts but for spiritual guidance.  When I met with the priest, it did not go as I expected because it ended with my family no longer attending the church.  It may have been a negative experience but, I now know that it was a necessary part of my journey.

Ironically, my talk with the priest helped me meet another medium.  Strange right?  Honestly, because of that experience, I found someone else like me.  She opened my eyes to so much and she helped me understand why some things I learned on my own didn’t feel right to me.   She told me to listen to Spirit but, that I was right to question them.  She said I should always question what comes through.  So, I do just that, I listen with caution.

If there was any advice I would give to someone wanting to understand or develop their gifts it would be this…

  1. PRAY!!!  I believe that spiritual gifts are just that, a GIFT from God.  So, pray to Him and ask Him for guidance.
  2. Follow your gut and listen to the little voice in your head but, with caution.  As crazy as that may sound, it worked for me.
  3. This is YOUR journey, no one else’s.  It won’t be like anyone else’s and it’s not supposed to be.
  4. You are never done learning.

I’ll be praying for all of you to find peace in your gifts.  Best of luck on your journey!